


(This Body Is) More Than I Bargained For

by Lynxrider



Series: Substitute Soul [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Gender Dysphoria, Hair Pulling, Hand Jobs, I need a break from my own angsty writing, Light Angst, M/M, Transgender, Underage Sex, i'll add tags as i go, non-binary, oneshots, so here's some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 08:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12428523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynxrider/pseuds/Lynxrider
Summary: Edward hates seeing his brother in distress. But when he reluctantly tries to help, he gets more than he bargained for. Way more.





	(This Body Is) More Than I Bargained For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my collection of filthy oneshots friends. It’s basically going to be a brain dump of me just messing with my characters and indulging in writing all the M rated content I keep out of my larger fics. All of those extra fics that were requested by readers are going to be dumped here as well. Have fun, duckies.
> 
> Warnings: This oneshot contains MAJOR SPOILERS for those of you reading Substitute Soul, so if that bothers you, you might want to wait until the first book is done. But if you don’t care about that, here’s this random filthy thing I wrote. Enjoy.
> 
> Chapter Tags: Alex Elric/Edward Elric, M/M, Incest (sort of), Underaged, Sexual Content, Masturbation, Transgender/Bisexual Themes, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, First Time

 

Fire crackles comfortingly in the quiet night, it’s heat warming my body from head to toe and warding off the midnight chill. Face flushed, I lean into its warmth, drawing it right into my body to pool deep in my stomach. Tingles run up and down my spine like the warm tips of fingers brushing over skin with the lightest of caresses. I squirm slightly and let my head rest against my drawn knee with a small sound of protest, so quiet the crackle of the fire drowns it out. But no amount of wishful thinking on my part would be able to will this arousal away. Not this time.

I’ve been in this world for three years. Three whole years since two naive children tried to bring back their mother by forbidden means, damaging one of them, imprisoning another in an iron shell, and stealing an innocent from across the gate. Three years since I, a 23 year old woman, became a homunculus in the form of a teenaged boy.  
  
My name is Alexander Elric.   
  
In the past three years, I have experienced incredible pain, intense pleasure, heartache, grief, and joy. With every new experience I grow more as a person than I ever have where I come from. Unfortunately, as I grow older I begin to have unprecedented troubles that, in a way, I've already been through.

At the same time, this is completely, utterly, _indecently_ different. And I have absolutely no idea how I’m supposed to deal with it.

We’re resting, my two adopted brothers and I, in a camp somewhere between Dublith and Central on our latest mission. The military had hardly given us a break between our last fiasco– the disaster in Aquaroya–and now, but seeing as how our last mission had been a complete failure…Ed couldn't really complain about being sent on another mission so soon. Honestly, I don't think he minds this new assignment, seeing as it helped him to avoid Central for at least another month. His service as a state alchemist sometimes makes the volatile fifteen year old feel stifled, and these missions, as much as he likes to complain, let him stretch his legs a bit; tug on the leash, as it were. Colonel Mustang does not help matters with his constant jabs of criticism and mockery towards Ed. But even so, there is a healthy respect and camaraderie between the two, despite all of their jibes.  
  
I brush my long bound hair behind my ear, the blond locks coming loose from the hair tie at the base of my tanned neck. I pull the green collar of my jacket closer about my shoulders, staving off the cold wind and scooting closer to the fire. Staring into the flames with emerald eyes, I shift again, grumbling wryly to myself that thinking of Mustang is hardly going to help me with my current...problem.   
  
I think of the man with nothing but affection, and more than a little admiration. The first time I saw him, he displayed such awesome _power,_ the likes of which I’d never seen. With merely a snap of his fingers and a smirk of his thin attractive lips, he completely incapacitated a terrorist twice his size. Mustang is always in absolute control, his exotic black eyes sparkling darkly with cunning and mischief.   
  
Roy’s black hair, slim waist and cut body, and his dark eyes that draw me in every time he looks in my direction. So focused that I could almost feel their intensity when they turn my way, prying away all my secrets as easily as removing articles of clothing. His power, _control,_ dark humor, _everything,_ makes me irrevocably and unfortunately attracted to him.

Roy Mustang is my forbidden fruit in this world where I have been deprived for three years of all romance and intimacy. As mouthwatering as he is off limits. And I try so desperately to make sure he never finds out. Not Roy, who chases skirts like they’re going out of style.

Last time we were in Central was too close a call for my stupid heart. I was feeling down, and sought him out at his home. He’s close to my age–or rather, the age I was–and I couldn’t help but feel a kinship with him that quickly grew into a friendship despite our strange circumstances. I probably wasn’t really considered close enough to him to impose at the time, but he let me in regardless.

I thought I had a handle on my dumb crush. I was _not_ prepared for him to open the door wearing a damn near transparent white shirt with the buttons undone. Or those loose sweats that practically fell off his fucking _Adonis’s belt._ I’m not sure how I made it through that night without completely molesting him and giving away my crush. There was even alcohol involved.

Now that I think about it, it was probably stupidly obvious that I couldn’t stop drooling...

I shake off the thought, trying to distract myself with something else, _anything_ else. It...doesn’t quite work out in my favor.

Short black hair turns long, pale skin getting even paler and features softening. The image in my mind warps from handsome to achingly beautiful and painted lips mock me in my imagination.  
  
The opposite side of the same coin, literally the dark and light, the good and evil, is my repeat offense stalker; the irresistible and lascivious Lust. A dark horse in my peripheral, her beauty is haunting and unforgettable. Never before coming to this world had I been attracted to another female. Yet Lust's light touches, her curtain of dark hair that brushes against me in my dreams, and her blood red lips that alternately seduce and injure me in turns, have built a sick fascination and attraction within me the likes of which I've never experienced. She’s another forbidden fantasy for my lonely heart.

And she knows it.

I can see it in her eyes every time she finds me, time and time again. She loves to sneak up on me, to pull me into her inescapably strong embrace, to trap me against her lush body. I resist. Always. She’s a poison, whispering sweet nothings into my ear and threatening my brothers brutally in the same breath. I never really understood why she didn’t just kill them and take me, as it is clearly in her power to do so. I shudder visibly, both in fear and continued arousal, because I have a very bad feeling that she is merely enjoying the chase.

I banish her image, not wanting to think about her. As fun as it might be to imagine...no. The reality of Lust is way too terrifying to entertain. After all, think of the devil, and they shall appear. I look furtively around, paranoid of her finding me even though it was pretty unlikely this night. Especially in this state. I bite my lip and turn my gaze back to the fire.

In any case, both black haired beauties are an impossibility for me, whether by sexuality or by abject fear, but fantasizing about them is a tantalizing pastime that eases my loneliness for intimacy, at least for a while.  
  
And that’s fine, as long as it _remains_ a fantasy. But this past year, to my abject horror and humiliation, those fantasies I have of them or of any other began to have a physical affect on my body that I can’t not control.   
  
Being a man in arousal is nothing like being a woman in the same state. There are similarities, sure; the heat pooling in my lower abdomen, the electric shocks of pleasure down my spine and the warm flush of my cheeks, all the same. However, where a woman can hide it, a man, most unfortunately, cannot. And to be discovered in such a state is unthinkable.   
  
The first time it happened, I hadn't been thinking of anyone in particular. My brothers and I were on a train, heading to a place I can't really recall. Just another mission, another average inspection or some such. It was night then, and as in the events after the happenings in Xenotime, I was not, could not, sleep. I was pretending, however, because I had not yet told my brothers my troubles after ingesting the red stone. Alphonse reclined across from me, the suit of armor reading a book to pass the night hours. Edward lay sprawled against his lap, snoring softly. I lied on the opposite bench in faux slumber, and thus was immobile and powerless when it first struck me.   
  
And it struck like lightning. I was having a waking dream, a pleasant fantasy to pass the time. It featured some nameless figure, their only feature midnight black hair. We weren't doing anything of note, he or she merely stroking my hair gently with a lover's touch. My fantasy lengthened as I imagined the light caress of my hair became a light touch down my side…and therein the trouble began.   
  
A pleasant feeling began pooling in my stomach, at first ignored. But then tingles began to run up and down my spine incessantly, raising goosebumps on my skin. I shifted slightly in confusion, brow furrowing over closed eyes, but had to cease all movement with a startled yet silent gasp. Even a soft brush against fabric alerted me that my skin had become hyperaware of every sensation. Then, like a deep breath of air, my entire body flushed almost forcefully, and I was overcome with the most peculiar sensation. My pants, loosened in sleep, became uncomfortably tight beneath the jacket draped over me.   
  
With startling humiliation, I understood what was happening. I had become aroused, involuntarily, and for the first time since coming to Amestris. For the first time since becoming a _man._   
  
Although arousal and excitement are sensations I dearly miss, I had fervently hoped that, by some strange happenstance I would never have to deal with them in this–hopefully–temporary body. But that’s, of course, ridiculous. I’m a boy swiftly becoming a young man and no matter how much I will it to never happen, I’m experiencing something for the second time in my strange life: puberty.   
  
The word in my head made me cringe then as it does now, almost a year later, in the middle of the wilderness. Back then, I had been too freaked out and afraid to do anything about it other than lay paralyzed till it passed. But the more often it happens, the more I come to realize that it is not something I can ignore forever. I can’t help it any more than I can help my fantasies, and the longer I do nothing, the more painful and insistent it becomes.   
  
It’s been an hour, and the unwanted arousal is becoming uncomfortable. I clutch one leg to my flushed chest to hide the unmistakable tent of my erection, using the fire to hide my blush. But the warmth is a double edged knife as it's heat only manages to keep me pleasantly warm.   
  
Perhaps too pleasantly.   
  
I glance surreptitiously to my younger brother Alphonse. He’s sitting a few yards to my left, back facing the fire and gazing diligently out into the countryside. He keeps unyielding watch every night as Edwards slumbers, he and I only taking turns to meditate, a method we sleepless souls adopted to keep our sanity. Which is what I should be doing, but my current state prevents me from any such peace of mind.   
  
Edward sleeps peacefully across the fire, laying on his side and dead to the world. His sharp features are cast in stark contrast in the light of the flame, making him look older than he was. At the same time, his relaxed expression in sleep make him look innocent, a look rarely seen on his woken form. Long blond hair rests loose about his shoulders and gleams golden in the light, just like his tanned skin. I envy him his peace for a moment. I know that Edward of all people deserves it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t wish our places were exchanged.

  
I poke at the fire, resentful of the tension building up within me.   
  
My cock throbs painfully in my pants, and I release a heavy sigh, disguising my gasp. Sweat beads on my forehead and runs down my neck, but I’m reluctant to move further from the fire. Alphonse turns back at my small sound, red orbs glowing steadily in the wan light.   
  
"Are you awake?", he asks quietly.   
  
I nod, not even trying to pretend I had reached any form of meditation. "Do you want me to take over?" I ask just as hushed, mindful of our slumbering brother.   
  
"If you don't mind," Alphonse said, standing. "I would actually like to go explore a little." I nod in acceptance. It’s not unusual for Alphonse to wander from camp on calm nights like this. Nor for me. In the long hours of the night we have to keep ourselves occupied until the rest of the world woke, and wandering forest trails was one way to do it.   
  
I listen for a moment at his retreating footsteps. The moment I know he’s out of earshot, I release my curled position with a pained groan. The pressure increases tenfold as even the small movement irritates my over sensitized skin. Immediately, I loosen my tight trousers and let out a small gasp of relief as the brutal restriction eases. I reach down instinctively to touch myself, whimper building in the back of my throat involuntarily, only to be bitten back at the last second.

But I can’t do it. My hand jerks to a stop just above my waistband, as if some wall of trepidation physically holds me back from getting relief. Again, I’m gripped with an irrational fear, ugly and insistent, and it stills all movement with paralysis.  
  
This is so stupid, _ridiculous_ even, I berate myself. There is absolutely no reason not to take care of this. I had been a grown woman in my prime, had touched myself countless times, been intimate with many men. I know exactly what feels good for both sexes. Men writhed and found completion at my touch. _It’s exactly the same._   
  
It’s irrevocably and terrifyingly different.   
  
My body trembles with tension and arousal as I stare at my still hand, denying myself. It’s as if I’m teasing my own body in the worst possible way. I imagine myself doing it, imagine what I know it would feel like to stroke up and down my hot length. But I just _can't._   
  
What is this feeling that holds me back? I’m not disgusted about being a man. No, I find my own body quite beautiful, just as I had when I was a woman. Is it that I think that if I touch myself I would be truly accepting my existence here? Is it because I was trapped in the belief that none of this was real?   
  
But. I've experienced enough pain and pleasure in this world to have accepted that. Then WHAT?   
  
Tingles of hot pleasure run up and down my body like molten fire, and this time I can’t hold back the moan of pleasure and absolute _frustration._ I close my eyes tightly and let my head fall back, willing this to just go away, hand still hovering uselessly over the throbbing tent in my loose pants. Just one touch. Just to relieve it–just a little! "Ugh…!" Even the rough ground grinding against my backside feels inescapably good.   
  
Unbidden, fantasies run wild in my mind, tormenting me further. Mustang’s dark eyes crawl up and down my body like a physical caress, low attractive voice beckoning me. He’s wearing that damn white shirt, half buttoned and disheveled and I would give anything to run my fingers through his thick black hair... I shake my head sharply, but the image merely turns to the sinfully soft curves of Lust. She stands over me with her superior height, the curtain of her hair blocking out our surroundings and her hands pinning me down with that _strength_ . Sharp claws rip through my clothes to scratch at my sensitive skin, almost hard enough to draw blood, and her beautiful face leans down for a biting kiss…I shift my hips, and clench my eyes tighter, heat piercing me like a spear to my abdomen.   
  
I’m trembling now, sprawled out on the ground. I lean against one elbow, my other hand frozen and feeling the warmth radiating off my heated body. "No…" I whimpered. "Go away."   
  
"It isn't going to go away."   
  
“Hah!” I startle badly at the deep voice, heart throwing itself painfully into hyperdrive. I completely forgot where I am! I snatch my hand back, clenching it against my chest, and open fevered eyes wide. Across from me, on the other side of the fire that had only been encouraging my torment, was a pair of golden eyes, watching with all of the sharp intelligence and intensity I know well. At some point during my fevered battle, Edward had awoken.   
  
I let out a harsh breath I had been holding and look away in shame, drawing my legs to my chest, although he’s clearly already seen everything.   
  
"How long have you been watching?", I stutter, voice trembling noticeably.   
  
Edward sighs, sitting up in a smooth motion, hair fluttering about his shoulders. As he moves, his red coat slips from his back, revealing the tanned skin of his bare chest, hard planes and muscle standing out starkly in the firelight. "Long enough."   
  
I stare with flushed cheeks, but avert my gaze with a harsh jerk when I realize I had been staring at the attractive young man for too long. In my current state, I can’t be trusted to look at my own _brother,_ adopted or not. Suddenly I feel disgusting. Wretched.   
  
"It's not fair," I choke out, avoiding his eyes. "If I were still a woman, I could just ignore it until it goes away. Why can't I ignore it now?"   
  
Edward shakes his head, his own cheeks flushing noticeably before he averts his eyes. "You're not a woman anymore, Alex. Men need release. If it isn't taken care of in your waking hours, then it will happen when you’re asleep."   
  
I grimace deeply at that thought. That wouldn't be so bad…except I _can’t sleep._ "You're just a kid, what the hell would you know?" I say sharply, defensive.   
  
"Yeah, that's right," Edward says sarcastically. "I'm just a kid. A kid who's a year older than you and has been a man my _whole life_ . What would I know?"   
  
I don't look at him, not acknowledging his point. I can't help but twitch however, as another wave of arousal strikes me, this time almost painful.   
  
Edward stands with a huff, shaking the dirt from his pants. "Alex, just take care of it. It's not a big deal. Look, I'll even leave the camp for a while–"   
  
"…can't," I wheeze, almost inaudibly.   
  
"What?", Ed pauses.   
  
"I can't," I say louder. I look up at him with fevered and pleading eyes, shoulders shaking, and releasing breathy pants that are beyond my control.   
  
Edward blushes to the roots of his hair at my look. He coughs into his hand awkwardly, hiding his embarrassment with anger. "Why the hell not?", he demands, avoiding my hot gaze.   
  
"I don't _know._ " I sound desperate even to myself. "Every time I try, it's like my body freezes as if I'm afraid, and I don't know what to do!"   
  
"Just do what feels good!" Ed lifts his hands in the air in a clear bid for sanity, uncomfortable.   
  
"No, I know what to _do,_ I've had sex with men before–"   
  
"Gah! Okay, too much information," Ed exclaims, covering his eyes with his steel hand and thrusting his other out to silence me. My teeth snap shut, the next words–a plea maybe?– caught in my throat.   
  
Edward lowers his hands slowly and gazes at me with his piercing golden eyes, face still crimson. He seems almost determined though, and I furrow my brow in confusion. He walks towards me slowly.   
  
"You're afraid," he surmises huskily, and I pause, shuddering at the deepening in his tone. That incredible voice that I’d always found so attractive, that flush on those high cheek bones...I physically flinch back to reality, blinking rapidly. Right. He asked a question.

I hesitantly nod in affirmative. Neither one of us can bring ourselves to say exactly what I’m afraid of, but it doesn't change the fact that I am.  
  
He steadily advances until he’s crouched down in front of me. I find myself staring almost drunkenly at the grace in which he moves. A hand gently grabbing one of own sends a jolt through me so strong it manifests in an embarrassing whimper and an impossibly tighter strain of my pants. Just how big was this stupid thing going to grow?! I look up at him through hooded lashes bashfully, but my face can’t possibly get any hotter. His palm feels warm against my own, and his responding blush to my sound reddens his face beautifully.   
  
"Ed?", I whisper, confused by his action and painfully, achingly tentative. Am I understanding this right? Is he really offering…?   
  
His golden eyes are dazed, expression just as hesitant as my own, but there is a determination there that I’ve seen many times before. Taking a deep breath, his gaze sharpens. "We will never speak of this after tonight, got it?" His voice cracks slightly.

My heart jumps painfully and I almost choke in surprise. At the same time, my body throbs at the very thought of release, and strangled gasp rips out of me like a punch to the gut. Edward, beautiful, golden Edward, is offering something I had never even considered before. For all sorts of reasons. He’s too young. He’s my adopted brother. He’s _human and I’m not._

  
Edward flushes even more at my small sound, but moves his other hand to tug on my foot insistently and pry me out of my curled position. "Alex, c-come on. There's only one way to do this. You have to trust me."   
  
And that _goddamn voice_. I can’t take it. Hesitantly, I acquiesce, loosening my muscles and allowing Edward to drag out first one leg, then the other, leaving me completely exposed to his perusal. But Edward looks just as nervous as me, despite his deceptively sure movements, and it seems like he didn’t want to look anywhere but into my eyes, holding my heated gaze with his own unsure one. I gasp at the slight relief of pressure on my aching cock, and I know I probably look positively wrecked, long hair stuck to the sweat on my face and neck and lips worried with incessant teeth. But no amount of self consciousness on my part could distract me from the way he twitches from the sound of my voice, pupils widening in obvious arousal, goddamn.

And then he makes a tiny little sound of his own.

That does it. I wave to my sanity as it flies right out the window and tug at my waistband, because FUCK IT that was hot.  
  
I fumble, hands trembling so badly I’m having a difficult time getting my button undone, refusing to look away from his blown out eyes. Edward huffs, half exasperated and half amused. He slaps my hands away and replaces them with his, one startlingly hot and the other cold as ice against the sliver of skin exposed under my shirt. I startle as he jerks open my button and pulls down my fly in one swift motion, hands quickly moving to the sides of my hips as if he was going to pull my pants down just as quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. I grab his wrist in panic, because _too much too fast,_ and feel his pulse racing wildly beneath my fingers to match my own.   
  
Ed freezes, leaning over me, and finally looks into my surprised eyes. "Alex," he says gently, although his voice shakes slightly. It strikes me then that this is probably his very first sexual encounter. The thought calms me somewhat, along with another hot wave of guilt. He’s sharing this with me? Of all people? Maybe I shouldn’t…

Little late for that, though.

"Ah, um,” he pulls back a little, scratching the back of his neck. “Just imagine I'm…whoever it is you imagine yourself with…" he mumbles awkwardly.  
  
“I won’t have to,” I say matter of factly, and probably unwisely. Edward is very handsome in his own right, beautiful even, with his long hair and fair features. And yes, god, that blush that spreads all the way down his bare chest at my words is intoxicating. I raise my hand to see if it feels as warm as it looks, and delight in the shudder that goes through Ed’s entire body at my touch.

  
In that moment…I decide I no longer care. My body aches desperately, and no matter how wrong I would perceive this normally, I am not about to refuse this beautiful boy's–one whom I trust so explicitly–offer for help. I relax back onto the ground with a sigh and remove my painful grip on his wrist. Propped up on my elbows, I stare through hooded eyes, all but verbally giving my permission for him to touch with a small exhale.   
  
Edward’s lips part in surprise before he gives an audible gulp. After only a few seconds of hesitation, hands return to my hips and then slowly pull my pants down. I moan loudly as my erection is suddenly exposed to the night air, precum cooling swiftly. I shift my hips and my gaze is drawn to my own hard cock, vaguely surprised at how big it’s gotten. I don’t make a habit of looking at it, as doing so usually just makes me feel uncomfortable, but damn, I think I have every right to be narcissistic at this point. It’s long shaft arches from my blond curls and over my flat abdomen, the flushed head already peeking out of my uncut foreskin, almost painfully red. Even as I watch, it releases a bead of precum, sending a jolt of pleasure through my whole body. I don’t bother to hold back my reaction this time.

And Edward’s eyes are on me, that golden intensity scanning me up and down, and damn, but I can’t help but preen, some of my confidence returning in a scorching wave of want. And I let him know it with the most beseeching, shameless look I can possibly muster.   
  
Edward leans in closer, not even trying to resist that look, forcing me to lay on my back and engulfing me with his body heat. Gently, he grabs my hand with his own flesh one and pulls it down towards my aching erection. I move with him willingly, and for a moment, I almost think I’m over it. But then, at the first touch of unfamiliar flesh the dysphoria floods back in, shattering my confidence once more, and I jerk back. Dammit! No! Just–Just! I clench my eyes shut with a huff, eyes stinging in disappointment.

“I–sorry, I just–” I stutter, biting my lip.

“I-it’s okay,” Ed husks. Frowning a bit, Edward guides my hand upward, placing it gently on my chest. After a slight pause, I suddenly understand what he’s doing. Start with something familiar.

Heh. Brilliant, genius Edward, I could kiss him. I relax, stroking my own chest.

I shudder as I run a hesitant hand over my nipple, the feeling comfortingly familiar. Yes, even though my chest is flat, this feels the same. I close my eyes with a smile as I roll the hardened nub between heated fingers, finally just allowing myself to feel the pleasure.  
  
"Hn…Ah!"   
  
I gasp softly, a bit startled when I feel a hesitant touch near my hip. Edward begins stroking my side, almost comfortingly, and I looked up at him, vision hazed. His eyes were half lidded, and there’s this look of acute concentration, as if I’m a particularly difficult puzzle he has to solve…   
  
"You're thinking too much," he whispers in that deep voice of his. "Stop thinking…" His hand moves lightly over my pelvis and I buck into his touch with a gasp. Ed glances down, holding still for a second, then seems to come to a decision.   
  
Matter of factly, as if he had planned to do it from the very start, Edward takes my erection in his hand and strokes down.   
  
I give a shocked cry and nearly black out at the sudden intensity and release of pressure his touch causes. I buck into his grip, hands instantly shooting up to cling to his hard shoulders, and throw my head back, stars dancing across my vision and body flushing hard. The older boy begins stroking me firmly and I lose control of my body, gasping and moaning loudly without my consent. My legs spread wider as I thrust up, calves resting against the back of Edward's firm thighs. The blond stumbles for a moment, but I’m too far gone to notice, practically drunk on the pleasure after years of forced abstinence. It’s like my first time all over again, the sensations almost foreign to me after so long. And then I couldn’t shut up.

“Oh god, Ed, just like that, _p-please! Ahn!”_ Words and inarticulate moans spill out without filter, and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore, just that he _needs to keep doing that, oh god–_   
  
It’s maddening. I cling desperately to the man above me, not even sure I know where I am anymore, and writhe as his strokes bring both release and a blind craving at the same time. My entire body feels like it would explode with sensation as I’m bombarded with the pleasure I had been denying myself for far too long. My bare backside scrapes against the ground and rocks dig into my shoulders, but even that feels like the sweetest ecstasy.   
  
I open my eyes to half mast and mindlessly pulled the blond down to me, resting his forehead against mine and running my hands through his hair, pants mingling between us. He tries to pull away for a second, face flushed and eyes blown wide, but gives in a second later when I won’t yield. His loose hair falls like a curtain around us and I run my fingers through his locks, gripping  them almost painfully as he continues to stroke me. And then his chest is against mine, touches sparking every nerve I have with the slick slide of our skin.

  
"Ah…hah! Ed! I-I! More, just like that I–"   
  
Instinct takes over as if this were just another sexual encounter, dysphoria long forgotten. I stroke his hair, digging my nails in where I know he would be sensitive, receiving a small, startled sound in reward. I try to pull his warm body in closer to me, but he pushes me back firmly and takes one of my hands from his silky hair, placing it back on my chest. I groan and automatically caressed one of my nipples, just as achingly hard as my cock. The pressure, encouraged by Edward’s touch, grows to an almost unbearable level, and my breath stutters desperately as I recognize the familiar precipice. I clench my eyes and arch my back as I climb higher, and higher–and then Ed's hand, that tantalizing, frustrating hand slows and then came to a stop.   
  
"NO!" I keen loudly as completion is taken from me cruelly. Without hesitation I grip his hand and try to move it again, but he merely slips it out from under mine. Instinctively, I grip myself and begin to move, desperately seeking what I had almost achieved. My hips bucked sharply as I stroke the velvet skin of my cock. I feel Edward try to slip away, but I automatically grasp the back of his neck and hold him close to me in a powerful grip. He stumbles in his bid for escape and ends up on his elbows, sprawled on top of me with a startled gasp. Feeling his body heat engulf me throws me over the edge and I’m falling.

  
"Hah…!" The pressure releases almost violently, and without my bidding, I lunge forward to sink my teeth into Edward’s soft shoulder, just above his automail. His startled whimper of breath is nearly drowned out by my loud moan of completion, which comes from deep inside my chest as spurt after spurt of semen paints both of our chests white. Spots dance before my eyes as I ride out the orgasm, until finally I collapse back onto the ground with a sigh.   
  
I pant hard, as if I just ran a marathon, and yet my body is so relaxed I feel like I could melt through the very earth. Slowly, awareness comes back to me, and I could hear the fire crackle again. The chirps of the forest.

And another heartbeat pounding loudly against my chest.  
  
My eyes snap open in shock as I realize with a start that I’m still holding Edward down. My hand is tangled in his long blond hair, his face pressed against my neck and breaths huffing rapidly against my pulse. My other hand is gripping his hips, bringing the entire length of his body against mine, and against the mess on my abdomen. Belatedly, I notice his tensed, trembling arms, as if he’s trying to pull himself up and escape.   
  
"Hum…Alex…?" Ed grunts against my neck.   
  
My face flushes in humiliation as I realize what I’m doing and I instantly let go of his waist. I try to yank my hand out of his hair.   
  
"Ouch!" Ed shouts as my sweaty fingers tangle and pull at his skull.   
  
"I'm sorry….I'm sorry," I gasp. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you like that, are you alright?!” Oh god, I forced him down, I didn’t let him go. Had he been trying to get away? Did I push him too far? Did I scare him, shit–

“Alex, calm down–ow! I’m alright, just–here.”

He lifts himself off me and gently tugs at my fingers with a grimace, releasing them one by one. I sit up with him, body feeling like jello, and just stared blankly, not entirely sure how to react to what just happened.  
  
It seemed like the young alchemist was in the same predicament, looking everywhere but at me. "Th-there," he stutters, gazing up at the black sky, "you should be able to do it yourself now."

I just continued to stare incredulously, not even reacting to his statement. I should…? OH. Right. Shit, what the hell had I been thinking? He was just trying to help, and I–And then my eyes drifted downward, over his flat chest and muscled stomach, where evidence of my pleasure gleamed against his skin. And then lower, where his slim hips still straddled my legs…  


The blond's shoulders were shaking noticeably and his face was as red as a tomato. But most importantly, a prominent bulge stood out from his black pants. Yeah, this definitely hadn’t been one sided.   
  
My mind stutters to a halt, no longer able to process anything. I just slept with my older brother. Erm, masturbated with him…whatever. And now he’s hard…my mind breaks a little at the absurdity of it all.   
  
This would all make more sense if I was a woman. And he was my age. And I was actually human. Fuck.   
  
"Um…Ed…" Edward slapped his hand over my mouth–the hand he had been touching me with, I think hysterically–cutting off my words with the smell of my own musk.   
  
"Not. Another. Word," he says, placing his steel hand over his flushed face. I glanced down at his prominent erection again, but before I can do anything, he stands abruptly, turning away and striding three paces before coming to a sudden stop. The muscles on his bare back tense as he tries to get ahold of himself. Even from some yards away, I can see a dark bruise blossoming on his neck, just above his automail shoulder. I gulp audibly. Oh god. I did that…   
  
Abruptly, he spins around and strides to the other side of the fire, grabbing his coat. He jabs a finger at me as he pulls it on. "We will never speak of this again, got it?", he says, repeating his words from earlier. Before I can even nod, his eyes flick down over my half naked form and his face gets even redder, if that were possible. I blink, and he’s already striding away, swiftly disappearing into the outskirts of camp and into the forest.   
  
I blink slowly, once, then fall on my back with a thump. What the hell. Was that? Numbly, almost limply, I pull my pants back over my now soft member and my shirt back down, completely ignoring my mess in my numbness. I pull myself into the same position I had been in before Al had left, one knee to my chest and my arms resting across it. Once more I stare into the flames, trying to process what the hell just happened to me.   
  
That was a bit fucked up. But. But I’m feeling more relaxed than I have in a long, long while. Hm. Hmmmm. Nope.   
  
I groan loudly and bury my head in my arms. And then groan again when I smell sex and Edward all over me. Fucked. Up. Did I technically just break the law? I mean, I'm not a child molester am I? And I totally molested him. He was just trying to help, not get pulled along for the ride. And man did I…pull.   
  
"Urgh!"   
  
"Alex? Are you alright?"   
  
"Gah!" I jump about a foot into the air at the sudden intrusion of my younger brother's voice. I gaze up at the suit of armor in alarm and horror as he walks slowly back into camp.   
  
"Heh, sorry I scared you…" He looked around. "Where's Ed?"   
  
"Uh…he went to take a leak." I say dumbly, trying to still my racing heart. It’s okay. Alphonse can't smell anything, there’s no way to know what just happened.   
  
"Oh. Um, why are you covered in dirt?"   
  
I look up at him with wide eyes, realizing belatedly that my back is filthy from sweat and dust. "A-actually, he's been gone a while," I stutter, slightly strangled. "I better go look for him."   
  
Without another word, I grab my coat and flee the camp, going in the exact opposite direction I had seen Ed leave.   
  
I stop running a few minutes later, panting against a tree. Well, at least one thing is resolved. I’m definitely not afraid to touch myself anymore. Edward was absolutely right.

My breath slows to normal and I straighten, gaze a million miles away. As my panic slowly recedes the memories of what just happened flow through me, flushing my face anew. That. That was probably one of the hottest encounters I’ve ever had in my life. And out of everything that I could possibly be disturbed about, one thing bothered me the most.

Edward hadn’t gotten off.

I place a hand over my mouth in thought. Yes. Yes, that really does bother me, more than anything else. Those blown out eyes, black eating out the gold, that chest flushed with his own arousal, that delicious bulge tenting his pants, those goddamn little pants he made…

And wow, looks like the floodgates are open now.

But a devious smile is tickling the palm of my hand as I look back over my shoulder. Yeah, that isn’t really fair, is it? Sex should be mutually pleasurable after all.

Looks like I have some hunting to do. Who needs forbidden fantasies when something beautiful is right there in front of you?


End file.
